Why Can All Men Be Just Like My Daddy???

 

Dear Tell All

I get soooo emotional because I love my Daddy soooo much!!!!  Sometimes I’m sooo bad though, and I never wanna take him for granted! Just last week, I really put my foot in my mouth and felt so upset. When he wanted me to go help out in a store, I was being such a brat and told him that I didn’t want to work in the stores because I felt like I should be a lady of leisure like my friend Paris. But later, at the end of the day, I was so proud to go work there because my Daddy did something so magical that really touched me! He invited me to a huge business dinner to show how much he cared. I heard a rumor that some of the businessmen turned their noses up at me and my Daddy’s relationship!!! So he walked me proudly into that meeting and told them that if they didn’t have room for me at the table then to make a kiddie table for me and they did just that! 

When I heard him speak about how much he wants to fight against this bad economy and fight for Made in America and pay everybody that works hard more money, it made me get all teary-eyed!!! Just then and there I thought to myself, in the words of Britney, “I’m a smart person. What the Hell was I thinking???” When my Daddy wants me to help at a store, I’m gonna do it!!! Just because I’m an internet celeb/ spokes model/fashion maven/reality TV star/ aspiring pop star it doesn’t mean that I’m too good to help out at the stores!!! I said it before and I will say it again!!!! I love you Daddy! Mean it!!!

 

Fruition X Cassette Playa

Dear Tell All,

I could not leave Vegas with without hangin out with my fave shop owner buddies Sam and Chris from Frution!!!!! This time to my surprise my ol’ gal pal Carrie Mundane the brans behind Cassette Playa was in town celebrating the launch of their collaboration!!!! Only 30 Tees where made!!!! Guess who was the first to get one…your fave fashion maven ME ME ME!!!

 

What Happened in Vegas

Dear Tell All,
 Im in Shitty but Fabulous Las Vegas!!! I was the BIG trade show for my Daddy’s Company!!! I got to dress all the model girls and have a crazy fun time!!!! Me and my gal pal Kyung did fun photo shoots and we found this ex Israeli Soldier who works at the pet store where my doggie Headcayse goes to get her teeth fixed!!! He was ready for his close up!!! Ya know what they say, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!!!

 

Happy Barbie Birthday Paris

Dear Tell All,

Fuck Valentines Day! Who needs boys when you got friends like Jeremy and Paris??? This weekend was so much fun! Paris celebrated her special day with a Barbie themed party at her gorgeous Bev Hill Mansion. She was clad only in a Jeremy Scott for Barbie dress!

It was soooo much fun! She has a complete night club attached on to her bed room!!! The place was packed with oompah-loopas and celebs!!!

I saw my friend Kendra’s Daddy Hef. He’s super but I love my Daddy more!!!!

Speaking of my Daddy not to sound totally like keeping up with The Hilton’s and even though I’m totally jealous that Paris has a stripper pole in the club attached to her bed room and a mini version of her house as her doggies house, but I must say that me and Daddies view is a little better! Okay now lets talk celebs! Russell Simons totally mean girled me! 3-6 Mafia were totally sweet, Paris totally forced us into hangin out with Taryn Manning and the Playboy Playmates toates remembered me!!! I really do live a dream come true!!!

Saturday was girls night with Jeremy. We went to see Confessions of a Shopaholic. It was cute but the most hateful part was when i got so excited that Hedi Montags song “Fashion” was in the soundtrack, but to my surprise it was not her singing it was Lady GaGa. I mean shes cute and all but I think it is totally f’ed up that RedOne took that song away from Heidi and gave it to GaGa!!!!! 

 

Nuttin’ Says Love Like My Butt!!!

Dear Tell All,
My Daddy let the creative team at work make E-Valentines with my fave pose!!!! Send one to your love one today!!!!

Jonny Makeup meets Mama Makeup

Dear Tell All,

OMG. I remember like years ago when I quit being a phone sex operator cause I went crazy like that Girl 6 movie so I started working at the makeup store in Philly called Scarlett, I worked with the actress Amy Locane!!!! For real she worked there in between auditions after Melrose Place season one ruened her career!!!! And everyday I before we opened we would listen to Madonna and I was like…I wanna be just like Mama Makeup from Truth or Dare…

 so one day Amy was like…”you can be Jonny Makeup” and voila…my Street Name was born. It wasent imortalized till a few years later until my darlings Gravy Train!!! caught wind of me and honored me in a song!!! Long story longer….today my BFF Jeremy was doin his big shoot for his line with adidas and none other that the real deal Mama Makeup was in charge of cosmetics for the shoot!

And its such a small world that my work friend Chris Berdine is totally BFF with the photographer Nabil Elderkin. So Jeremy invited us all down!!!! Me and Mama really hit it off!!!! It was sooo amazing to finally meet my namesake!!!!

 She was such a sweet heart and put on the Jonny Makeup Shirt I gave her right away!!! It was like my long lost show biz Mommy!!! I did her makeup and we pranked people!!! She has been working a lot with David Lachapelle lately too!!! Its soooo crazy that I got to meet soooo many people that have influenced me from a far while I was growing up!!! 

Please Gay Marry Me!!!

Dear Tell All,

whether i sing or dance or whether i don’t!! he’s gentle…but by gosh he’s strong!! i understand what he has given to me.. what’s so silly about that!!?? what’s so crazy!!!?!?!? we will be married….we are correct nice people….i will have more puppies…with my husband….there will be over the rainbow for me!!! we have a love that makes everything else look just STUPID…..being Jonny Makeup…sure i’ve been loved by the public…i can’t take the public home with me…and i have a right to be in love….and i have a right to be loved …and i have a right to be married properly……and im going to wear white…white satin and white lace and white pearls…because i am pure and i’m marrying pure…..so you see it’s not all crazy and insane…the way people like to write it…maybe this will be a news item..

 

Coming to A Coffee Table Near You

Dear Tell All,
Finally after all these years of hard work I made it into a Coffee Table Fashion Book!!! Club Kids From Speakeasies To Boombox and Beyond. I graced the pages with my idol Leigh Bowery and my BFFs The Misshapes. Once again proving that dreams really do come true.

 

 

Hello Katy

Dear Tell All,
Tonight was shows! Another night with my Grammy Nominated BFF, Ms. Katy Perry!!!
 It was her kick off show to her Hello Katy World Tour!

Let me just tell you! She is sooooo mega now that I had better seats for Madonna! Her fans are crazy and would not let me up front even with a backstage pass!

And OMG! I brought my Daddy’s CFO Adrian as my date!!!! He’s soooooo cute! The Wall Street Journal says he’s the youngest and hottest CFO in all of America! But sadly hes not gay!!!! He dosen’t even like boys!

 Hopefully when Katy gets back they can go on a date! and me and my other BFF, Angie Perry can have a Girls Club Meeting about it!!!!

The backstage was packed!

Lots of celebs like Dj Skeet Skeet and paparizzzi and blogarazzzi! Perez was there….shes funny, but I’m scared to say hi. I don’t want her to mean girl me! I did get to chill with Katy’s celeb Stylist Johnny Wujek whos totally hot and totally newly single….so I’ve heard!!

We also met up wit my buddy Jose, after that we went to downtown hot spot, The Pantry.

 

Stamp’d and Approved

Dear Tell All,

OMG! Sorry I have not been keeping you posted but I have been in non stop Bikram yoga classes. I’m tryin to get sexy in mind body and spirit! I could not take meditation and bending and sweating anymore so me and my gal pal Kyung decided to have a night out in Hollywood. We found ourselves at this party on Melrose at the Joy Rich Store. It was for this shoe line called Stamp’d, its designed by  the boy toy of one of the models from Daddy’s Company. Speaking of that, we met up with our stylish new intern, Jonathan!


After we got our pic taken my Rony’s Photo Booth it was time to bounce and go to the movies. We saw the most talked about and acclaimed Slum Dog Millionaire, it was my second time seeing it, first time was a private screening with my BFF Jeremy. Its such a good love story that I had to see it again! Bollywood finally made it to Hollywood! Gotta go girl, I got a 10:30AM class, back to Bikram!